Is he the ONE?

Oh yes, the question that every girl asks herself when she begins to have feelings for someone of the opposite sex. Could he be the one I’m supposed to marry? Is he my soul mate? Can he complete me? What should I do? How can I know?

Just like college age students and older in the States continually ask these questions, we have found these all too familiar questions on the hearts of students in Nepal. Last week was a very busy week for us and amidst our several events and activities (Women’s Conference, teaching at their college – Justin on leadership and me on counseling, and visits to the Children’s Home), we got the opportunity to speak to about 100 college age students on God’s Will in finding a life partner.

Yeah, how did we get roped into this you might ask? It all started one evening when our hosts (well the wife) asked us to tell her our “love story. We told her our whole story from the very first time we met to our beautiful wedding dayJ. If anyone is familiar with our story, you know that is quite a humorous one (well humorous now, maybe not during it). I of course was very very picky and thought that if I didn’t know the guy was the ONE within seconds of knowing him, than I shouldn’t even get to know him anymore. Most of the time this was a good thing and protected me from a lot of heartache (I had never been in a relationship until Justin), but as I got older, this thinking made me very fearful and God had to really work on my heart to take a step of faith in this part of my life

Anyway, she loved our story! She loved the fact that I didn’t date Justin right away and that he had to spend a lot of time pursuing me. She related to this a bit herself, and she really liked how Justin was so patient and waited on God’s timing. Also, she loved how we had a period of time apart (3 months when I went to the Dominican Republic) that helped solidify our feelings for each other and confirmed in our minds that we were going to get married. So, after listening so intently to us, she told us she would like us to share at the program for college age students they were having on Friday. They were having a full day program consisting of worship and teaching and the topic was God’s will in our lives – specifically our career and finding a life partner. She would take the morning session and then we would have the afternoon. I shared a little bit about God’s will and figuring out your career in life as our host also loved my attendance to medical school for ONE dayJ. Then Justin and I, together talked about finding that special someone.

So what do you tell college age students about finding a spouse in a culture that is totally different than your own - a culture where arranged marriage is still very much practiced? Yes, before we spoke, several girls who were believers asked me my view on “love marriage” versus “arranged marriage,” and the majority of them preferred arranged marriage and were going to marry whomever their parents chose for them. This might seem crazy to an “independent” American woman, but the girls I spoke with truly believed their parents would chose someone that they would love. Now, don’t get me wrong, I would never want this for myself (no offense mom and dad), but I think I need to be careful not to judge so quickly.

So, as the basis for our teaching, we simply shared our storyJ, which we think went over very well. We got lots of laughs and many comments after the program such as,”we were very much blessed by your love relationship story” and, “now, I am going to go and pray a lot more.” Not sure if they felt compelled to pray for us more, but nonetheless, still happy that they felt compelled to prayJ.

We shared how each of us had a “list” in our head of requirements for our future mate, and as we shared this, our host decided it was such good information that she wrote it on the white board and all the students took notes! Oh gosh! We shared how it took a long time for anything to really develop for us and we weren’t always sure it was God’s will. We shared how we were always seeking counsel and praying about things, and eventually knew that it was what we wanted. What was really cool to share simply by our presence in their country was how we were doing ministry TOGETHER and making decisions TOGETHER about our life and future. I fear this is not done as much here as women are often looked down upon and treated as the inferior partner, with the husband ruling the relationship and their lives.

We pray that through our story, God spoke to the students about his love for every person in this world equally and his design for marriage in this same vain. We also pray that through our joy and laughter (you know we can’t do anything without a few jokes and laughter) they saw life and a picture of how much HE loves HIS bride! Please pray for the young believers here that they would fall more in love with our Savior and then sense His will for their life – learning to seek Him first and then when married love their spouse with His love.

Nepal: Weeks 3 & 4

VIEWER BEWARE! There are some gruesome photos of sacrificed animals at a Hindu temple. Those with a weak stomach, consider yourself warned. :-)

Nepal Weeks 3 & 4

Tour of Kathmandu:

We have been in Kathmandu, Nepal for almost a month now, and we thought we would give you a little description of our temporary home. Despite some of the less than enjoyable attributes of this city, we have grown to love those we are staying with and everyone we meet associated with The Way. Their love and kindness make up for anything the city lacks. That being said, we introduce to you… (Drum roll please) Kathmandu:

Elevation: 1350 meters, 4,423 feet

Temperature: Cold, above freezing most of the time, but cold, especially when it’s cloudy outside or rainy, then it’s even colder. None of the homes are heated, and even though the concrete and brick can hold some heat from the day, even inside it’s pretty cold, especially in the rooms that don’t get much sunlight. We mainly wear a fleece and our down REI jacket’s all the time, because it’s cold. We are very comfortable at night though with our 3 thick, blankets. And it does get warm when we sit in the sun, either on the grass or on the roof.

Currency: Nepali Rupees, or NRs. It’s about 72 or 73 NRs to one US Dollar.

Religion: Mostly Hindu, but there is also a large Buddhist population. The Buddhists and Hindu get along quite nicely; in fact they even share temples for some festivals. Neither of these groups gets along very well with those of The Way, especially Hindus.

Population: Kathmandu has around 1 million people in the city, up from 700,000 just 4 years ago, and there are 3 million people in the “Kathmandu Valley”, which is the large area around the city, although it is hard to tell sometimes when the city ends and another area begins.

The People: The people are for the most part helpful and friendly. The children we come across around town are always very friendly and love to practice their English on us. There are a few exceptions as one lady stuck her tongue out at Krista and kind of glared at me as we walked on by (not really sure why any of that happened – maybe something spiritual).

Anyone associated with The Way has been very, very nice to us and we are always given really great tea wherever we go, and usually a meal, although sometimes we decline as it may not sit well with our sensitive American stomachs.

Sights, sounds and smells: Kathmandu is very crowded, dirty and dusty. Any stream or water we see usually has quite a bit of trash in it, and some places on the side of the road have become local dumping areas. There also seems to be a haze that has settled over the city, probably a mix of exhaust and dirt that has been kicked up by traffic in the very dry winter months, an occasional rain, although cold, sure cleans up the air, and makes for some great views of the Himalayas. A lot of locals, and bus drivers, wear masks to keep from having to breathe this haze.

The city is pretty loud as well, with a constant hum of horns, some of which are quite fun and entertaining, dogs barking, and during the day, children playing.

As far as smells go, there seems to be a slight underlying odor of car fumes and trash that is mixed with the occasional whiff of incense being burned in one of the shops. You tend to get used to the smells so that a whiff of incense kind of shocks you.

Infrastructure: Most of the streets are very narrow, and it’s amazing that people, bicycles, motorbikes, cars and buses, oh, and chickens, goats, dogs and cows, can actually share the road. Which means walking on these streets makes for quite an adventure (no sidewalks) and both Krista and I have been hit by side mirrors of cars while they were passing us. Now, most vehicles honk to let you know they’re coming, but with so much honking going on, it’s easy to just tune it out and not pay attention.

There is one “large”, two plus lane (unpainted) road which wraps around Kathmandu, like a big “ring” and is therefore called Ring Road. This is the main road in Kathmandu, and nearly everything is accessed from Ring Road.

The central and older parts of the city have very old brick buildings, sometimes with roofs made of dirt and grass. The newer areas have nice, newer homes that are usually multiple stories and made of concrete and brick. Any piece of land that doesn’t have a building on it will be used as a garden or farmland. Every square inch in the city, and some of the country, is used.

Our Lodging: We are staying at the Blessing House, a four story concrete and brick house. We have the 3^rd floor all to ourselves, unless they have other guests, and we are blessed to have a bathroom right off our room, and to be on the south side of the house, which means we get the best sunshine in the day. The house is also in a great location, it is 3 blocks from the Ring Road and close to all the “projects” that our hosts are running.

The Food: Typical Nepali food is Daal Bhaat Tarkari and is eaten with your hands. Daal is like a lentil soup, bhaat is white rice, and tarkari is a generic term for vegetables cooked, usually cooked in some kind of curry. On special occasions, or if you are wealthy, you also get masu which is the generic term for meat and can include chicken, buffalo, goat, or wild boar (no cow here, so buffalo, or buff, is the “beef”). We’ve found that Nepali food is generally not very spicy by itself, but they usually have some achar on the side, ground up pickles, and this is spicy! Be careful how much of this you throw on your plate. For spicy food, grab some Newari food! The Newari is another people group that lives around Kathmandu, and their food is spicy, but delicious. And we can’t forget Krista’s favorite, the bread! Here it is chapati or roti, both are similar to India’s Naan, and both are delicious.

Shopping: There really doesn’t seem to be a “downtown”, mall, or central shopping area for the locals, every little area has shops within minutes that will have everything from chicken (alive or dead) to wild boar (mostly dead) to internet to medicine to chocolate to photo printing… pretty much the works.

There are some bigger market areas that will have larger selections of goods. For the tourists, there is Thamel, which has all sorts of outdoor gear (funny though, how every jacket looks the same but has different brand names on them, from North Face to Mountain Hardwear), restaurants and places to stay. And there is one grocery store/ department store call Bhat Bhateni that has everything in one place, inside a nice building, with good parking, and at a fixed cost, we do get a “special” price when we visit some of the smaller shops and the price isn’t on the item. Big fan of Bhat Bhateni. Items are for the most part less expensive here than in the States, especially considering the exchange rate. We just bought a medium size jar of Peanut Butter for $2 US. The big exceptions are Cadbury’s chocolate and Snickers, they’re pricey.

Transportation: Lots of walking! Everything is pretty close to the Blessing House… 5 minutes to the main “gathering” building, 20 minutes to the children’s home, 25 minutes to the Bible College, and 30 minutes to Thamel, the tourist shopping area, and Justin’s favorite coffee and internet cafe!

Taxis are another option, and are relatively inexpensive. To get a Taxi to Bhaktapur, an hour away, it costs 550 NRs, or roughly $7.50 US. To get to Thamel, it’s around 200 NRs, or $2.75 US.

There are also buses, big ones and little minibuses, which travel around Ring Road. These busses are very cheap, but crowded and you have to be able to communicate with the “Bus Master” (every bus has a driver, and then someone who hangs out the door to drum up business and inform potential customers of the route for that bus). One time, on the way to visit a Buddhist temple, we had our host write down the name of the temple in Nepali, which was very helpful when the Bus Master wasn’t sure what we were trying to say. We just showed him the hand written name and we were all set, he even informed us what stop we wanted… all for about 30 NRs, or $.42 US, for both of us.

In any vehicle, or walking even, the trend is to stay to the left side of the road, but really it’s more of a free-for-all with a few honks of the horn to let the other vehicle know you are overtaking them. That makes any ride an adventure, with lots of horn honking and sudden stops, especially when you are trying to overtake a vehicle that really doesn’t want to be overtaken and the on-coming traffic isn’t giving way to you either. This jerky style of driving can lead one to become a little car-sick, but rolling down the windows just adds dust and various odors to the situation, not really helping. Not to mention it can get quite hot in a vehicle during the day, but again, rolling down the window has its own side-effects that may make a hot drive seem the favorable option.

Shoe Story #3: Sue

Meet Sue*

I (Krista) met Sue at the Children’s Home here that we have had the opportunity to hang out at. The last time I was there, I heard her story and had to share it with you.

Sue was born into a very high caste, Braham family in the Hindu religion. Because of this she was married at the age of seven (an arranged one of course)! She was a very devout Hindu and lived in her village, just outside of Kathmandu, with her husband’s family for years. As she grew older she developed what she called a “mental illness.” She said she “would sit in one spot and never move and hardly ever eat.” She was in this almost catatonic state for 18 years! In this state she and her new family searched for healing. They consulted many “Gurus” of the Hindu faith and even some witch doctors, but nothing seemed to help. One day, twelve years ago a team of believers came to her village to share and found her there. They prayed over her and immediately she was healed!! At seeing this, she and her mother-in-law became believers! They right at once gave up their Hindu faith! Others were not so moved….her husband and her daughter wanted nothing to do with her new found faith and they left her.

Her husband left her for another woman and her daughter went with him. He began a new family and now they have nothing to do with Sue – they are actually over in the States. Sue and her mother-in-law stayed very close and took care of each other. They joined a community and grew in their faith. A few years ago, her mother-in-law passed away. Sue was left all alone at this point with no family. Through the community she was a part of, she learned about a Children’s Home that existed. So she visited this home and immediately was welcomed and fell in love with it.

Today, if you took a walk in Sue’s shoes, you would wake up alone in a village outside of Kathmandu. As the sun was rising you would tend to your farm and cattle and do the daily tasks around your home. You would then begin the lonely one hour journey by foot on winding, dirt roads into Kathmandu. Your journey would end at a Children’s Home where you loved on and helped care for 50 orphan children. There you would find love and acceptance – a new family given to you by your new Father – a daughter and lots of grandchildren. At the Children’s Home, she calls the House Mom her daughter….a “daughter that He gave me since mine left.” You would find purpose and hope for your life, and a way to serve the loving Father who healed you.

This beautiful woman was so excited to share her story with me. It is amazing to see her strong faith and joy! Her life is a testimony to the power of His love and to the love of His followers. Here is just one example of what the Big Man is doing in Nepal through healings and the love of His people.

As we take some steps in Sue’s shoes, may the Father open our eyes to the areas in our lives that He has brought healing and restoration, and may we seek out ways to show others that same healing love.

*Names have been changed for security reasons.

Nepal: Weeks 1 & 2

Nepal Weeks 1 and 2

End of Chitwan and more Kathmandu...

Well, we are back from our Chitwan adventure with Nitu, our guide and niece of the people we are staying with, and after our fun with the elephants, rhinos, and crocodiles (where we left off last time), we made it to a children’s home and a “gathering”.

Friday, we went and visited a small children’s home in the area. Transportation where we were in southern Nepal is a very tricky thing, as very few people have cars, and where we were, there aren’t any taxis, and few buses… so the best alternative is a motorcycle. Good thing I (Justin) got my motorcycle license a few years back, because that is how Krista and I made our way to the children’s home about 30 minutes away. As I remembered the basics of driving a motorcycle, and tried to follow our guide on the motorbike in front of us, I quickly found the two most important functions in Nepal, the horn and the throttle (the break is only used as a last resort). Upon a grateful arrival, we spent the day with the leader there showing us his community building, and plans for growth. About 1 pm when the children were done with school for the day, the Nepali school has a half day on Fridays, we spent some time with the children learning songs and dances, and teaching them songs and some dance moves… their dances were way cooler than ours. And we shared some stories from the Good Book and even handed out some treats. We then played a very exciting game of Bucket Ball (a variation of basketball) until we were all too tired to continue. And we ended the day with some typical Nepali food for dinner… we’ll explain more on the Nepali food in another blog.

Saturday, which is more like their Sunday, we went to a “gathering” and sang some songs, and just when I thought I wasn’t going to have to speak, everyone looked at me, and I guess I was on. So I gave a short message, which with translation actually turned into a 45 minute message, and then we ended the “gathering”. Krista went to the leader’s house, while the leader, one of his top guys, and I took a little tour of his other “gathering” buildings and a spot for a future building… all via motorbike, one motorbike, which I drove with the other two guys on the back. That sure increased my prayer life, especially when the dirt road I was on turned into a narrow bridge over a canal. Yikes. After the tour we joined up with Krista and enjoyed lunch with the leader and his family at their very simple house. In fact it was more like a little hut with mud walls (we’ll post some photos)… surrounded by chickens, buffalo, and goats (kind of a loud place). Oh and a house cat… good for killing mice and rats they told me. After our meal there, we headed back to our hotel to relax before dinner at Nitu’s family’s house of a very good and traditional Nepali meal, complete with the delicious Nepali tea, Chiya.

Back in Kathmandu, we have done a little more site-seeing around the city. We enjoyed a tour of a very ancient part of town, where cars are not allowed, that has many Hindu Temples and some local artisans, especially potters. We also got to go to the farm of our host, Brother Chaatri. He has a few projects he is working on these days and this farm is one of his big projects. They have about 3 to 4 acres with some chickens and goats, and beautifully terraced farmland where they will cycle through 3 crops: rice, wheat and vegetables. It’s also a place where he can employ some of the poor of Nepal… the couple that run the farm were at one time very poor, not believers, and about to get a divorce when our host gave them the land to work on and counseled them. Now they are both believers, thriving financially and their marriage is restored! While we were there, they made us a super lunch which we enjoyed in the warm sunshine by the creek that runs right by the farm! It was a great place and he has some great ideas of expanding it. We’ll post some photo’s soon.

We have been enjoying ourselves at their house as well, staying warm with multiple layers of winter clothes, thick socks and hot Tea. We have been reading a lot, having great conversations with our host couple (they have some amazing stories – we’ll post a few of these here and there as Shoe Stories) and even enjoying a little TV once and a while (way to go Federer in the Aussie open). Now that we’re back in Kathmandu, we’re excited to begin visiting their Children’s Home and their college soon. Tomorrow we are planning to get up early, 4 am, and head to a local area that has a great view of the sunrise over the Himalayas and Mt. Everest (The highest mountain in the world)!!